Communicating with a person with dementia: practical tips for families and carers

Health & daily life · 4 min read · Last updated 2 November 2026

Dementia can make it hard to find words, follow a conversation and remember what was said. A relative who once talked easily may now need patience, simple sentences and a calm approach. This guide brings together advice from the Family Caregiver Alliance (a US charity) and NHS Wales. It is general information, not medical advice, and the right approach depends on the person.

Set the scene

  • Set a positive mood. The Family Caregiver Alliance says to speak respectfully and warmly, and to use facial expression, voice and touch to show affection. Body language often carries more weight than words.
  • Get their attention first. Reduce noise and distractions, use the person's name, say who you are, and get to eye level if they are seated.
  • Keep the room quiet. NHS Wales advises against leaving loud background noise, such as the TV or radio, running during conversation.
  • Sit at their level or lower, and keep a respectful distance so you do not seem intimidating.

Speaking and listening

  • Talk slowly and clearly, with short, simple sentences in a calm voice.
  • Use names rather than pronouns, and repeat the same wording if needed. If they still do not understand, wait and then rephrase.
  • Ask one simple question at a time, preferably one that can be answered yes or no. Avoid open-ended questions and too many choices.
  • Be patient and wait for a reply. NHS Wales notes that people may feel rushed if you hurry them.
  • Offer a word if they are struggling to find one, and watch for non-verbal cues. Focus on the feeling and meaning behind the words.
  • Acknowledge what they say, even if it does not answer your question or seems out of context.
  • Repeat back what you heard and check you understood correctly.
  • Let them speak for themselves about their own health and welfare.

Non-verbal communication

Use gestures, facial expressions and smiles to support your words. NHS Wales suggests holding or patting the person's hand to reassure them, while watching their body language to be sure they are comfortable with contact. Pay attention to their own signals too: shaking the head, turning away or murmuring can mean no or disapproval.

When someone is upset or confused

  • Reassure rather than correct. The Family Caregiver Alliance says the person's feelings are real even when their memories are not. Respond with comfort, touch or praise instead of arguing about what happened.
  • Connect, then redirect. When they are upset, change the subject or setting, such as suggesting a walk, but acknowledge the feeling first.
  • Break tasks into steps. Let them do what they can, remind them of steps they tend to forget and help with steps they can no longer do.
  • Draw on the past. Long-ago experiences tend to be better remembered, so ask about those, and avoid questions that depend on short-term memory, such as what they ate for lunch.
  • Use humour kindly. Laugh together when it fits, but never at the person's expense.

What to avoid

NHS Wales advises against interrupting, even if you think you know what they mean, rushing their answers, speaking over them, giving complicated choices and ignoring their non-verbal messages. Its advice is to try not to patronise the person or ridicule what they say, and not to stand over them.

In a care home

Staff who communicate well make a big difference to a resident's day. On a visit, watch how staff speak to residents with dementia: at eye level, by name, calmly and without hurry. You can also help staff by sharing your relative's life story, favourite topics and the words or phrases that comfort them. See choosing dementia care and settling in to a care home.

Frequently asked questions

Should I correct my relative if they say something that is not true?

The Family Caregiver Alliance advises reassuring rather than correcting, because the person's feelings are real even when their memories are not. Responding with comfort usually helps more than arguing about what happened.

What kinds of questions work best?

Simple, one at a time, and preferably answerable with yes or no. The Family Caregiver Alliance advises avoiding open-ended questions and too many choices, and NHS Wales suggests offering simple, limited choices.

What if my relative no longer recognises me?

The tips here are general and do not describe later stages in detail. Many people find that warmth, tone, touch and shared memories still connect. Ask the dementia support services where your relative lives for advice suited to their stage.

Sources and further reading

This guide is general information only, compiled from the public sources listed above as of the date shown. It is not legal, medical, tax, financial or care advice, and we cannot guarantee that it is complete, accurate or up to date. Rules, thresholds and prices change and differ by country and region, and some sources describe other countries' rules as examples. Check details with the authorities and care homes named, and take professional advice for your own situation before you act. If you spot an error, please email [email protected] and we will correct it.